Who Is the Filler of Your Soul?

Who is the filler of your soul? (This is a rewrite of a previous post.)

It has been many years since I have learned the life-changing truth that my husband cannot meet all of my needs...The need for happiness, security, purpose, value, peace, and contentment. I have learned and continue to experience, "My God shall supply all (my) needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:19) Not only food and clothing but the needs of my SOUL....answers for my existence, a purpose to live for, a passion to dive into, joy, and all of the other secret desires of my heart.

He is the perfect Lover of my soul.

Relieving my husband of this role changed my marriage. I began to ENJOY my husband not focusing on his short comings in meeting my needs. I had set him up to fulfill a task that was impossible for him to actualize.  He is human full of shortcomings so why was I expecting my happiness to be met in a man?  I had fallen for the Prince Charming promise.  Or rather I misplaced my expectations on the wrong prince.  I have two Princes but only One is the complete Lover of my Soul.

When reading The Love Dare I became aware of the desires that I had for my husband to fulfill. I want more- more depth of love in our relationship, more intimacy, more camaraderie. Are these desires wrong or misplaced? In speaking of marriage, I do not think so. I did not endeavor to take the "Dare" because my marriage was bad or falling apart. Rather, I wanted more! to have the ultimate marriage experience on this earth and I would do my utmost to make that happen! I felt a push to strive to have an exceptional marriage as a testimony of God's handiwork and for my pleasure and satisfaction!

But what about just having a "good marriage" to a "good man"? What is wrong with that? Is that not enough? My husband is thoughtful, loving, a great provider, friend, and a wonderful father.

I sense the Holy Spirit leading me to gain a new perspective. To not put expectations on my husband to be responsible for my happiness, purpose, and contentment.  A heart that confidently knows that all of my needs are met through Christ Jesus.  A woman who enjoys her marriage completely at this moment and accepts her husband right now with all of his flaws and shortcomings.

Who are you looking to right now to fulfill the longings of your heart?

Are you allowing Jesus to romance you?

"My beloved speaks and says to me,

'Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.'"

-Song of Solomon 2:10 Ampl.

He wants you to come away with Him.  Will you meet Him today?

Choosing to Rejoice

Day 34 of "The Love Dare"- As you can see my calendar is WAY different from the norm. Instead of reading and applying the book daily with its end at Day 40, I take about a week. When did I begin this venture? February! Wow! Well, let us just sat that I am making Love last! (:

"Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth." -1Cor.13:6

I am reminded that I am one of the most influential people in my husband's life. How have I been using that influence? That is sobering. I can be provoking my husband to godliness or the flesh.

Presently, my husband is without work. He has been for quite awhile, but it has just been these last few weeks that worry has been trying to usurp both of our peaceful mindsets. Reading this entry this morning, I am exhorted to consciously NOT voice worries which would only barrage him with more attacks. I will choose to focus on his growth in godliness and rejoice with him in that.

The word "rejoices" in the 1Cor. scripture above means to be absolutely thrilled and expressively showing it. Tonight when we are on our "date" I will share my enthusiasm about is gathering our family to have church in our home recently. I am thankful for his thoughtfulness in preparation for this time and his taking responsibility in his leadership of the home.

Yes, I am consciously choosing to lift up my husband today toward godliness, not voicing innuendos about our savings, bills, future!, etc.

The Lord's ways are not ours. I tend to think that if I just "let him know" how things are or what I am thinking then THAT will be a motivator to him. NOT! From relational experience I have learned that my "subtle" remarks would just tear him down. So I shall with the Lord's help be an encouragement today. And is it not true that if we "seek first the kingdom of God all these things shall be added unto us"?

Thank you Father.

Is there an issue that you are wanting to consistently bring up to your husband, but in your heart you know that you needn't and shouldn't? Maybe take a different approach, like focusing on his godly growth and rejoicing in it?

Love Seeks to Know

If you are wondering if I have given up "The Dare". I have not. But what is written to be accomplished in one day, I seem to be taking a week!

Today, Day 18, I am to plan a delicious, quiet meal just for the two of us with the intention of getting to know my husband better. Don't I know him already after 18 years of marriage? That did cross my mind until I read some of the suggested questions to ask him.

"What do you enjoy the most about your life right now?"
"What are some things that you've always wanted to do but have not had the oppurtunity yet?"
"What three things would you like to do before this year passes?"

I could give an educated, understanding guess of what my husband's answers would be, but I am not definately sure that would be right. So while, I do not see the possibility of us having a quite- just the two of us- dinner at home in the next week; I do intend to discover more about my husband.

And there IS more to know. Who really knows the depths of a man's soul except the Spirit? But love draws out the "deep water". (Proverbs 20:5) So today, this week, seek to understand and know your husband more deeply. Intimacy will only deepen.