It has been many years since I have learned the life-changing truth that my husband cannot meet all of my needs...The need for happiness, security, purpose, value, peace, and contentment. I have learned and continue to experience, "My God shall supply all (my) needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." (Phillipians 4:19) He is the perfect Lover of my soul. Relieving my husband of this role, which employed an endeavor impossible to actualize, changed my marriage. I could then begin to ENJOY my husband, not focusing on his short comings in meeting my needs. Really, if every woman could "get" this, I think that our culture would be elevated! How many marriages are stressed because the wife unconsciously or not manipulates her husband to get him to meet her needs and ends up angry and frustrated.
However, after reading and pondering Day 21 in The Love Dare, I became aware of present desires that I have for my husband to fulfill. I want more- more depth of love in our relationship, more intimacy, more comraderie. Are these desires wrong or misplaced? In this case, no, I do not think so. I did not endeavor to take the "Dare" because my marriage was bad or falling apart. Rather, I wanted more! to have the ultimate marriage experience on this earth and I would do my utmost to make that happen! I felt a push to strive to have an exceptional marriage as a testimony of God's handiwork and for my pleasure and satisfaction! But what about just having a "good marriage" to a "good man"? What is wrong with that? Is that not enough? My husband is thoughtful, loving, a great provider, friend, and a wonderful father. I sense the Holy Spirit leading me to gain a new perspective. One that confidently knows that all of my needs are met through Christ Jesus, and enjoys my marriage completely at this moment, accepts my husband at this moment.
Will I stop praying that our hearts would continue to bond and experience the depth, breadth, and height of the love of God? No. But my intent is to pray and live from the postition that we are "joint heirs of the grace of life". (1Peter 3:7) If today is as good as my marriage ever gets, I will be most blessed. And I do have a great marriage now!
How about you ? What is your perspective today?
side note from the last entry: I did talk with my husband about the dreams he has....In his short and simple way he responded, "Oh, I don't know." So I am doing the investigating on my own....currently my file on him contains his new business interests. His thoughts and time have been comsumed so I am purposing to take interest in them myself so that we can share in it together.