Wednesday, February 18, 2009

His Answer-

For those of you who read my last entry- I DID ask my husband that very day...I was not purposefully procrastinating posting the information; my daughter got the stomach flu and I was nursing her for three days....so, this is how it went.

"Honey, in your most gentlest way, could you tell me three things that I do that irritate you?" (I added the part about the special delivery of the answer.)

"Well, Honey, uh, I don't know....your questions. Yes! you unceasing questions!"

How about that? NOT the answer (s) I thought I would get!

Did I learn anything from his answer? I DO remember my Mother always telling me that asking questions was a hallmark of my personality. I think of it as "inquisitive". So in my defense I could say that it is just part of my personality to be curious. However, I am learning to stop and ask myself before I ask a question, "Do I really need to know this information? Is it something that concerns me?" Hopefully this mental guard will keep my curiosity in tow. Most of the time his mind is preoccupied with business and I do not want to overtax him with needless questions. I want him to share information with me of his own volition. I want to be wise and use my words in the choicest of ways. Will we not be brought into judgement for every idle word? (Matthew 12:36) Ouch.

Another scripture comes to mind..."If anyone thinks himself to be religious and does not bridle his tongue but deludes his own heart, this person's religion is vain. -James 1:26. Before my husband gave me this insight about myself, I would have read this scripture and thought, "Yes, I need to watch what I say." My thoughts about this exhortaion would have been more general in nature. But at the moment I cannot help but think that I need to be more aware of my words (or questions) concerning my curiosities. Visualize a show horse that is in training. Overall the horse may seem to walk and gallop smoothly but every now and then he kicks his right leg out too far, not keeping cadence. This small quirk mars his complete performance. The trainer needs to bridle this horse every time the horse seems close to kicking out that right leg until after much practice the horse gives up the tendency. That is how I feel right now about this. I need to bridle my questions. Stop and ask myself if the situation involves me or is it a matter that I do not need to concern myself with or my husband's energies and time.

I have asked since if my husband would name two more. I am patiently awaiting his anwer! Soon enough he will let me know!

Oh wait! This morning he was agravated when he went to grab his nutritional supplements out of the cupboard; MY bottles fell out. "Toppled over" as he put it. I did not say anything when he had taken over the first shelf where I had had mine. I thought I was serving him even as I moved my supplements to the second shelf...I guess that I did not move all of them.

This is an exact example of how I think that I am serving my husband (Even in those seemingly small areas that he would not notice my proactive action to arrange the situation for his benefit.) and yet something was still undone! And he noticed! My reaction is anger and pride. I was mad that my fault was pointed out instead of my self-sacrifice being appreciated. Which is really pride. "Love is not self-seeking." Was I just seeking to be found a virtuous wife or was my action from a heart to please the Lord who sees all things?

The supplement example may seem small and insignificant to you. But isn't it the small irritations that we let grow into huge annoyances? And aren't the small things important to the Lord? He said that even if we give ONE cup of water in HIs name we would not go without reward. He DOES see and care about all things.

I ask Him for grace and a pure heart to love and serve husband.

Friday, February 13, 2009

The Love Dare

The new movie "Fireproof" has been sweeping through the Christian community as fast as the flames that the main character (as a fireman) wrestles to put out...Even while viewing this movie I thought, "That book he is using must be available." Sure enough, I visited my local Christian book store and "The Love Dare" was even on sale.

So with curiosity I made the purchase determing to put the book to good use un my marraige. The was in January. (?) I am stuck on Day 5. The "dare" for that day is to ask my husband to tell me 3 things that he finds irritating about me ("Love is not rude.")....I am afraid that he will begin to ennumerate those things that annoy him and that he will not be able to stop! You see, I have not had trouble thus far with the other dares: calling him just to ask how he is or withholding any negative words from our conversations. Why this one?

Well, after much contemplation, (It is 6 weeks after I have begun the book.) I realize that I am extremely sensitive to my husband's remarks. I could tell you that he only gives me constructive instruction for the betterment of my being...but his words are not always delivered as such; nor received from me as such most of the time! To ask him to audibly voice my faults has me posing shy. I want to be a sweet, wise, godly wife; making known my faults and quirks seems to mar my self-image. As if I am hiding the faults anyway?

I think that PRIDE is trying to mask my faults. Any change that I can make will only help our relationship. I do love him and must be willing to adapt myself to him. (Ephesians 5:22) So today (you can hold me accountable) I will ask him, purposing to have a humble, listening heart.

Are any of you on "The Love Dare" journey? Please share your encouragements and testimonies with us. May the Lord ever-increase our love for our husbands and their love for us.
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