Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The sun is just beginning to down behind the mountain. I am sitting in my livingroom. From where I sit on my couch I can see the magnolia tree in our back yard bursting with huge light and dark pink blossoms. From the opposite window lime green buds are spattered on the tree branches. Spring has sprung at last!

Amidst the joyful, hopeful, welcoming signs of the season, plans and activities flourish in my mind as well. Busy, busy, busy. My husband has been talking to me about four (yes, you read that right) four large business ventures he is pursuing which beckon him to travel twice out of state in May. He just returned from a trip to Texas where he drove over 3,000 miles in eight days. One of the trips in May would offer he and I nice time away for a few days. I am looking forward to that. Hilton Head, South Carolina. It is supposed to be just beautiful.

Besides the business activity, (My part in that is to be the wise wife who plays a sound-board to my husband's creative mind.) there is the end of the schooling year. As a homeschooling Mom I am getting the children's portfolios ready for their evaluation. If any of you reside in PA you know what a large chore this can be! But apart from wrapping up THIS year's lessons, I have to think and plan for NEXT year as well. Our co-op has begun to schedule next year's classes, we are having a used book sale next week so I need to go through my coopey-hole full of boxes of books and see what I will need for next year and what I can get rid of, then I am happily attending our state's homeschool convention next month as well.

This weekend is a BIG weekend. I am taking my daughter on our Mother-and-daughter trip to be the first of many. Our time out of town is for the purpose of talking about the coming of age issues. Did any of your mothers let you know about the birds and bees or did you find out another way? I DO remember a book that my mother handed me. My girlfriends in turn devoured each page of that book giggling the entire time. But mostly my girlfriends and I educated ourselves about puberty and s-x. Oh, yes, how can I forget the film in 5th grade? How embarrassing. Yes, that is ONE reason we home educate our children. I want to be the one who educates my daughter about life, love, and s-x, not an ungodly, immoral government worker. I have only briefly mentioned to my daughter the true intent of our special time together. We will also be attending a professional ballet production of Cinderella. So the trip is bound to have many wonderful memories. Have you and your daughter spent a "Purity Weekend" together? I would love to hear about it.

So...where was I? Oh, babbling I think, of all of the activity....maybe I just needed to write some of these things down to bring clarity to my mind....for I do feel better! Please do not think that I am posting to the world about how busy I AM...what a bore. I do not want to do that. Rather, I am just thinking aloud...."How do other women do all they need to do?" I just mentioned some of the bigger things I am involved in right now....but there are hundreds of little things (like cleaning up after the two new parakeets I got! baking chocolate chip cookies, folding clothes) that I do every day....and other big things, like planning the Maidens Of Virtue club I am hosting this summer for young ladies.... perhaps that is why I am always voicing to myself and others about resting, meditating, simplifying, prioritizing.... We have just one chance to go through this life. The sign in my bathroom reminds me of this, "Life is not a dresss rehearsal. Live like it!"

So as I am blogging...I am exhorting myself to pray about everything, trust in Him and He will guide my steps and bring it to pass. We just read this tonight after supper- Proverbs 3:5-6. I have time to do what He wants of me....and doing so with peace and joy I can sing, "There is a joy in the journey!"

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Meeting All My Needs and Desires

It has been many years since I have learned the life-changing truth that my husband cannot meet all of my needs...The need for happiness, security, purpose, value, peace, and contentment. I have learned and continue to experience, "My God shall supply all (my) needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." (Phillipians 4:19) He is the perfect Lover of my soul. Relieving my husband of this role, which employed an endeavor impossible to actualize, changed my marriage. I could then begin to ENJOY my husband, not focusing on his short comings in meeting my needs. Really, if every woman could "get" this, I think that our culture would be elevated! How many marriages are stressed because the wife unconsciously or not manipulates her husband to get him to meet her needs and ends up angry and frustrated.

However, after reading and pondering Day 21 in The Love Dare, I became aware of present desires that I have for my husband to fulfill. I want more- more depth of love in our relationship, more intimacy, more comraderie. Are these desires wrong or misplaced? In this case, no, I do not think so. I did not endeavor to take the "Dare" because my marriage was bad or falling apart. Rather, I wanted more! to have the ultimate marriage experience on this earth and I would do my utmost to make that happen! I felt a push to strive to have an exceptional marriage as a testimony of God's handiwork and for my pleasure and satisfaction! But what about just having a "good marriage" to a "good man"? What is wrong with that? Is that not enough? My husband is thoughtful, loving, a great provider, friend, and a wonderful father. I sense the Holy Spirit leading me to gain a new perspective. One that confidently knows that all of my needs are met through Christ Jesus, and enjoys my marriage completely at this moment, accepts my husband at this moment.

Will I stop praying that our hearts would continue to bond and experience the depth, breadth, and height of the love of God? No. But my intent is to pray and live from the postition that we are "joint heirs of the grace of life". (1Peter 3:7) If today is as good as my marriage ever gets, I will be most blessed. And I do have a great marriage now!

How about you ? What is your perspective today?

side note from the last entry: I did talk with my husband about the dreams he has....In his short and simple way he responded, "Oh, I don't know." So I am doing the investigating on my own....currently my file on him contains his new business interests. His thoughts and time have been comsumed so I am purposing to take interest in them myself so that we can share in it together.
There was an error in this gadget