Friday, December 16, 2011

Connected Pages of Life

I awake to another Friday- only this one is a bit different.  It is my birthday.  And while I have the slightest twinge of anticipation because the day is planned with fun and relaxing activities, I have to tell you that I am not thrilled at all with this hallmark in my life.  I had to consciously tell myself while lying in morning darkness, before I let my feet hit the floor, "This is the day that the Lord has made; I WILL rejoice and be glad in it."!!!!! I will myself to rejoice!!!

What is my dilemma?  simply a number.  Today marks my full duration of four decades plus one on this earth- I have had a year and I have not reconciled with the four decades yet. Oh, I know.  "Age is relative."  "You only are as young as you feel."  "You are still young!" .....but the time has come when I hear my own thoughts of  "Be thankful for your health."  "Wait forty more years and you will understand how young you are NOW."  "The gray hairs of a wise head are an honor."  (Well, I do not have any of those yet, but they are on their way.)

But, it's my party today and I will cry if I want to.  So bear with me a few more lines while I try to reconcile my thoughts this morning.


Today is Friday, when I have been habitually participating with other bloggers who write for five minutes.  The Gypsy Mama gives us the prompt.  Almost always, the words flow like water from the recesses of my brain and heart onto the screen.  No premeditation. That feels good- to just let the words topple out that have been crammed inside me and not have to worry about editing to make them "just right".  I edit everything in my life way too much.

Today's prompt is CONNECTED.
Here goes.

The middle chapter of the book.  Just into the thick of things.  The beginning already written, and the plot established.  I like the beginning.  There is not much that I would change.  "Tweak" maybe- some choices that I have made or words that I would like to take back.  But all in all- I like my story; it's made me into, well, me.  Doesn't it say in the book of Acts that each man has been placed in just the"time and place that we may grope for Him"?  Here I have been put- into this plot.  All events turn me to Him.

The ending is what I am concerned about.  I have only so many blank pages to fill and then the book is shut.  But there is so much that I want to do!  and experience, and live.  If only I knew when I was younger what I know now!  Oh, another proverb being fulfilled.

But the best is yet to come.  I cling tenaciously to any signs of youth still in me. And I think that is God ordained.  From the moment we are born, our fleeting lives are beginning their end. We are created to be vibrant youthful beings- forever.  The desire is for the secret of life.  But, oh, I have it- Life!  and it is in Jesus.  So while my physical clings to youth, my heart and soul stay connected with the cause of eternal life.  Where there are not enough books in all of the world to house all of the happenings that await me after that silver cord is loosened.

Happy birthday to me.  Excuse me, I have to go and start to write on my page for this day.
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