Monday, February 13, 2012

We All Want To Get Flowers

Many of you will be receiving flowers tomorrow from the man in your life as a symbol of his love for you.

Many of you will not receive flowers -and will probably be pining that you didn't.   We are women.  We want our loved one to acknowledge US, to tell us that we matter to them.  We want pretty petals to look at, to remind us that we are loved.  Nothing says it more deeply than the velvety petals of the rose.

Do any of you watch the television show "The Middle?"  The episode this week showed the Heck couple dining out with friends.  A flower lady approached their table and asked each husband if he would like to buy a rose for the love of his life. The husbands of the two other couples purchased the lovely single rose and in handling the love token to their wives, received the crowds, "Aaaaahs."  Mike Heck simply continued his monologue and dismissed the flower lady with a "No, thank you."  Frankie (his wife) is left flowerless and grabs a bread stick to munch on while her two friends gaze at the velvety petals.  The next morning Mike is awakened by a very upset Frankie who berates him, "Why didn't you buy me a flower?"  He replies, "I thought we agreed that that is a scam and that flowers are a waste of money?"  "Yes,of course it is.  But I still wanted a rose!!"

Doesn't that speak for the woman in all of us?  I know for me it does.  Yes, Hallmark is making millions from the propaganda of your love.  So is the flower industry, and diamond.  We KNOW that it is propaganda.  But don't we still want the flowers?

How will YOU react if your hubby comes home empty handed Tuesday evening?

Can you get over your disappointment?

In twenty years of a marriage relationship, I would like to think that I have grown and learned something.  There have been a few Valentine's that I went flowerless.  I have been disappointed. I have cried.  I have yelled . . . And I have learned to not depend on my husband so much for fulfillment and happiness.  My husband will be away this Valentine's Day.  He is working 2,000 miles from our front door.  That speaks his love to me.  He will not be able to bring me flowers.  I knew that.  So when I saw this beautiful bouquet at Sam's Club -I bought them for myself.  And I love to see them open more each day.
The other day my daughters and I made cookies.  I tried out the new cookie mold I had bought for the purpose of making heart-shaped coolies for Valentine's Day.  Making my husband's favorite, chocolate chip, I filled the mold.  The cookie turned out perfectly.  I took a picture of the tasty treat with my phone and sent it to my husband with the message, "Here is your Valentine's gift.  I guess we will have to eat it for you."  I also sent him a picture of the flowers with the message, "Here are the flowers you bought me, thank you."

He replied, "Bon appetit.  And I hope that you like the flowers."

We both smiled inside.

It is freedom to know that I can buy myself flowers....and enjoy them.

Can you?

Have a Valentine's Day filled with joy and love.

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Beck Gambill said...

Freedom, what a perfect gift to give the ones we love. I'm glad to say that on the Valentine's Days I have behaved badly my husband has given me freedom and forgiveness. On the Valentine's Day's he has been a bit obtuse I'm learning to release him from expectations. It's a daily work to live in freedom with our spouses. Thanks for the timely reminder!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this. A week ago I asked my husband (jokingly) what he was getting me for Valentine's Day. He mumbled "I don't know... a kiss?" I should have stopped then, but instead chose to continue teasing him, saying "do you mean that's all we can afford this year?" To which he replied, with a chuckle, "yes."

He's right. It is what we can afford this year. He's been reworking our budget and spending since January, when we started paying monthly installments for the upcoming birth of our first child. He tightly figured our budget to even make room for a bargain priced 1/8th package of freezer beef. It means there isn't the $25-$50 for a lovely bouquet of roses this year.

And in the simple fact of telling me "no" - he was saying how much he loves me. He loves me enough to make sure that my pantry is well stocked and we can afford our medical expenses. He loves me enough not to go back on our agreement to not use our credit card for anything but emergencies. He loves me enough to sacrifice the few days of happiness I'd get from daisies on my desk, to give me a step toward our long-term financial security. And that is worth so much more!

Lady Of Virtue said...

I am so touched that the post touched you- as always, I write to myself first! I need to "hear" it the most. Enjoy your Valentines. (: