New Year Begins

Well, I did it. I (almost) completely UN-decorated my house yesterday in 10 hours. If you know me (and my home) I LOVE to decorate...Christmas being the most beloved holiday. All knickknacks, pictures, even dish towels are taken down and replaced with themed versions of Christmas bliss...This year my family had a wonderfully full and quiet holiday. Yesterday was one of the days of the year that I dread...The end of the festivities and the time to take everything down. It is not so much I mind that everything looks stark and bare as some people do; I have come to enjoy the bareness of my walls and shelves as a calming break to rejuvenate my mind for the upcoming year. It is simply the work and temporary mess that I dislike. Yesterday I armed myself in body and spirit for the task that lay ahead. Out came the sweeper (to suck up all of those pine needles and Styrofoam pieced that break off from packaging), bucket full of soapy, hot water to wipe down the areas not dusted after swags have been lying on them for a month, turned on some instrumental tunes and pured myself some Diet Coke with lots of ice in an elegant crystal glass. I was ready! Ten hours later, twenty totes and 10 garbage bags all of the decorations are safely packed away until the Christmas season comes next year. Thankfully, I have two strong teenage sons who help with carrying all that to the third floor. I did not get to the wreaths hanging outside on the house windows. The temperature today compares with the Arctic so that will have to wait for a thaw!

I feel wonderful! A task accomplished and accomplished well.

Choosing to Rejoice

Day 34 of "The Love Dare"- As you can see my calendar is WAY different from the norm. Instead of reading and applying the book daily with its end at Day 40, I take about a week. When did I begin this venture? February! Wow! Well, let us just sat that I am making Love last! (:

"Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth." -1Cor.13:6

I am reminded that I am one of the most influential people in my husband's life. How have I been using that influence? That is sobering. I can be provoking my husband to godliness or the flesh.

Presently, my husband is without work. He has been for quite awhile, but it has just been these last few weeks that worry has been trying to usurp both of our peaceful mindsets. Reading this entry this morning, I am exhorted to consciously NOT voice worries which would only barrage him with more attacks. I will choose to focus on his growth in godliness and rejoice with him in that.

The word "rejoices" in the 1Cor. scripture above means to be absolutely thrilled and expressively showing it. Tonight when we are on our "date" I will share my enthusiasm about is gathering our family to have church in our home recently. I am thankful for his thoughtfulness in preparation for this time and his taking responsibility in his leadership of the home.

Yes, I am consciously choosing to lift up my husband today toward godliness, not voicing innuendos about our savings, bills, future!, etc.

The Lord's ways are not ours. I tend to think that if I just "let him know" how things are or what I am thinking then THAT will be a motivator to him. NOT! From relational experience I have learned that my "subtle" remarks would just tear him down. So I shall with the Lord's help be an encouragement today. And is it not true that if we "seek first the kingdom of God all these things shall be added unto us"?

Thank you Father.

Is there an issue that you are wanting to consistently bring up to your husband, but in your heart you know that you needn't and shouldn't? Maybe take a different approach, like focusing on his godly growth and rejoicing in it?

The sun is just beginning to down behind the mountain. I am sitting in my livingroom. From where I sit on my couch I can see the magnolia tree in our back yard bursting with huge light and dark pink blossoms. From the opposite window lime green buds are spattered on the tree branches. Spring has sprung at last!

Amidst the joyful, hopeful, welcoming signs of the season, plans and activities flourish in my mind as well. Busy, busy, busy. My husband has been talking to me about four (yes, you read that right) four large business ventures he is pursuing which beckon him to travel twice out of state in May. He just returned from a trip to Texas where he drove over 3,000 miles in eight days. One of the trips in May would offer he and I nice time away for a few days. I am looking forward to that. Hilton Head, South Carolina. It is supposed to be just beautiful.

Besides the business activity, (My part in that is to be the wise wife who plays a sound-board to my husband's creative mind.) there is the end of the schooling year. As a homeschooling Mom I am getting the children's portfolios ready for their evaluation. If any of you reside in PA you know what a large chore this can be! But apart from wrapping up THIS year's lessons, I have to think and plan for NEXT year as well. Our co-op has begun to schedule next year's classes, we are having a used book sale next week so I need to go through my coopey-hole full of boxes of books and see what I will need for next year and what I can get rid of, then I am happily attending our state's homeschool convention next month as well.

This weekend is a BIG weekend. I am taking my daughter on our Mother-and-daughter trip to be the first of many. Our time out of town is for the purpose of talking about the coming of age issues. Did any of your mothers let you know about the birds and bees or did you find out another way? I DO remember a book that my mother handed me. My girlfriends in turn devoured each page of that book giggling the entire time. But mostly my girlfriends and I educated ourselves about puberty and s-x. Oh, yes, how can I forget the film in 5th grade? How embarrassing. Yes, that is ONE reason we home educate our children. I want to be the one who educates my daughter about life, love, and s-x, not an ungodly, immoral government worker. I have only briefly mentioned to my daughter the true intent of our special time together. We will also be attending a professional ballet production of Cinderella. So the trip is bound to have many wonderful memories. Have you and your daughter spent a "Purity Weekend" together? I would love to hear about it.

So...where was I? Oh, babbling I think, of all of the activity....maybe I just needed to write some of these things down to bring clarity to my mind....for I do feel better! Please do not think that I am posting to the world about how busy I AM...what a bore. I do not want to do that. Rather, I am just thinking aloud...."How do other women do all they need to do?" I just mentioned some of the bigger things I am involved in right now....but there are hundreds of little things (like cleaning up after the two new parakeets I got! baking chocolate chip cookies, folding clothes) that I do every day....and other big things, like planning the Maidens Of Virtue club I am hosting this summer for young ladies.... perhaps that is why I am always voicing to myself and others about resting, meditating, simplifying, prioritizing.... We have just one chance to go through this life. The sign in my bathroom reminds me of this, "Life is not a dresss rehearsal. Live like it!"

So as I am blogging...I am exhorting myself to pray about everything, trust in Him and He will guide my steps and bring it to pass. We just read this tonight after supper- Proverbs 3:5-6. I have time to do what He wants of me....and doing so with peace and joy I can sing, "There is a joy in the journey!"

Meeting All My Needs and Desires

It has been many years since I have learned the life-changing truth that my husband cannot meet all of my needs...The need for happiness, security, purpose, value, peace, and contentment. I have learned and continue to experience, "My God shall supply all (my) needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." (Phillipians 4:19) He is the perfect Lover of my soul. Relieving my husband of this role, which employed an endeavor impossible to actualize, changed my marriage. I could then begin to ENJOY my husband, not focusing on his short comings in meeting my needs. Really, if every woman could "get" this, I think that our culture would be elevated! How many marriages are stressed because the wife unconsciously or not manipulates her husband to get him to meet her needs and ends up angry and frustrated.

However, after reading and pondering Day 21 in The Love Dare, I became aware of present desires that I have for my husband to fulfill. I want more- more depth of love in our relationship, more intimacy, more comraderie. Are these desires wrong or misplaced? In this case, no, I do not think so. I did not endeavor to take the "Dare" because my marriage was bad or falling apart. Rather, I wanted more! to have the ultimate marriage experience on this earth and I would do my utmost to make that happen! I felt a push to strive to have an exceptional marriage as a testimony of God's handiwork and for my pleasure and satisfaction! But what about just having a "good marriage" to a "good man"? What is wrong with that? Is that not enough? My husband is thoughtful, loving, a great provider, friend, and a wonderful father. I sense the Holy Spirit leading me to gain a new perspective. One that confidently knows that all of my needs are met through Christ Jesus, and enjoys my marriage completely at this moment, accepts my husband at this moment.

Will I stop praying that our hearts would continue to bond and experience the depth, breadth, and height of the love of God? No. But my intent is to pray and live from the postition that we are "joint heirs of the grace of life". (1Peter 3:7) If today is as good as my marriage ever gets, I will be most blessed. And I do have a great marriage now!

How about you ? What is your perspective today?

side note from the last entry: I did talk with my husband about the dreams he has....In his short and simple way he responded, "Oh, I don't know." So I am doing the investigating on my own....currently my file on him contains his new business interests. His thoughts and time have been comsumed so I am purposing to take interest in them myself so that we can share in it together.

Love Seeks to Know

If you are wondering if I have given up "The Dare". I have not. But what is written to be accomplished in one day, I seem to be taking a week!

Today, Day 18, I am to plan a delicious, quiet meal just for the two of us with the intention of getting to know my husband better. Don't I know him already after 18 years of marriage? That did cross my mind until I read some of the suggested questions to ask him.

"What do you enjoy the most about your life right now?"
"What are some things that you've always wanted to do but have not had the oppurtunity yet?"
"What three things would you like to do before this year passes?"

I could give an educated, understanding guess of what my husband's answers would be, but I am not definately sure that would be right. So while, I do not see the possibility of us having a quite- just the two of us- dinner at home in the next week; I do intend to discover more about my husband.

And there IS more to know. Who really knows the depths of a man's soul except the Spirit? But love draws out the "deep water". (Proverbs 20:5) So today, this week, seek to understand and know your husband more deeply. Intimacy will only deepen.

His Answer-

For those of you who read my last entry- I DID ask my husband that very day...I was not purposefully procrastinating posting the information; my daughter got the stomach flu and I was nursing her for three days....so, this is how it went.

"Honey, in your most gentlest way, could you tell me three things that I do that irritate you?" (I added the part about the special delivery of the answer.)

"Well, Honey, uh, I don't know....your questions. Yes! you unceasing questions!"

How about that? NOT the answer (s) I thought I would get!

Did I learn anything from his answer? I DO remember my Mother always telling me that asking questions was a hallmark of my personality. I think of it as "inquisitive". So in my defense I could say that it is just part of my personality to be curious. However, I am learning to stop and ask myself before I ask a question, "Do I really need to know this information? Is it something that concerns me?" Hopefully this mental guard will keep my curiosity in tow. Most of the time his mind is preoccupied with business and I do not want to overtax him with needless questions. I want him to share information with me of his own volition. I want to be wise and use my words in the choicest of ways. Will we not be brought into judgement for every idle word? (Matthew 12:36) Ouch.

Another scripture comes to mind..."If anyone thinks himself to be religious and does not bridle his tongue but deludes his own heart, this person's religion is vain. -James 1:26. Before my husband gave me this insight about myself, I would have read this scripture and thought, "Yes, I need to watch what I say." My thoughts about this exhortaion would have been more general in nature. But at the moment I cannot help but think that I need to be more aware of my words (or questions) concerning my curiosities. Visualize a show horse that is in training. Overall the horse may seem to walk and gallop smoothly but every now and then he kicks his right leg out too far, not keeping cadence. This small quirk mars his complete performance. The trainer needs to bridle this horse every time the horse seems close to kicking out that right leg until after much practice the horse gives up the tendency. That is how I feel right now about this. I need to bridle my questions. Stop and ask myself if the situation involves me or is it a matter that I do not need to concern myself with or my husband's energies and time.

I have asked since if my husband would name two more. I am patiently awaiting his anwer! Soon enough he will let me know!

Oh wait! This morning he was agravated when he went to grab his nutritional supplements out of the cupboard; MY bottles fell out. "Toppled over" as he put it. I did not say anything when he had taken over the first shelf where I had had mine. I thought I was serving him even as I moved my supplements to the second shelf...I guess that I did not move all of them.

This is an exact example of how I think that I am serving my husband (Even in those seemingly small areas that he would not notice my proactive action to arrange the situation for his benefit.) and yet something was still undone! And he noticed! My reaction is anger and pride. I was mad that my fault was pointed out instead of my self-sacrifice being appreciated. Which is really pride. "Love is not self-seeking." Was I just seeking to be found a virtuous wife or was my action from a heart to please the Lord who sees all things?

The supplement example may seem small and insignificant to you. But isn't it the small irritations that we let grow into huge annoyances? And aren't the small things important to the Lord? He said that even if we give ONE cup of water in HIs name we would not go without reward. He DOES see and care about all things.

I ask Him for grace and a pure heart to love and serve husband.

The Love Dare

The new movie "Fireproof" has been sweeping through the Christian community as fast as the flames that the main character (as a fireman) wrestles to put out...Even while viewing this movie I thought, "That book he is using must be available." Sure enough, I visited my local Christian book store and "The Love Dare" was even on sale.

So with curiosity I made the purchase determing to put the book to good use un my marraige. The was in January. (?) I am stuck on Day 5. The "dare" for that day is to ask my husband to tell me 3 things that he finds irritating about me ("Love is not rude.")....I am afraid that he will begin to ennumerate those things that annoy him and that he will not be able to stop! You see, I have not had trouble thus far with the other dares: calling him just to ask how he is or withholding any negative words from our conversations. Why this one?

Well, after much contemplation, (It is 6 weeks after I have begun the book.) I realize that I am extremely sensitive to my husband's remarks. I could tell you that he only gives me constructive instruction for the betterment of my being...but his words are not always delivered as such; nor received from me as such most of the time! To ask him to audibly voice my faults has me posing shy. I want to be a sweet, wise, godly wife; making known my faults and quirks seems to mar my self-image. As if I am hiding the faults anyway?

I think that PRIDE is trying to mask my faults. Any change that I can make will only help our relationship. I do love him and must be willing to adapt myself to him. (Ephesians 5:22) So today (you can hold me accountable) I will ask him, purposing to have a humble, listening heart.

Are any of you on "The Love Dare" journey? Please share your encouragements and testimonies with us. May the Lord ever-increase our love for our husbands and their love for us.

Twirling Mama

It has been so long since I have written that I had to go through the gammit of retrieving my old password (well, actually I did not even remember which e-mail I had used to log in!) So here I am, beginning a busy day, unusually taking a moment to journal... I am getting somewhat annoyed hearing myself say that, "I am busy." Though it be ever so true now more than ever as we are renovating a 5 bedroom home to move into, I do not like to innumerate my daily resposibilities and bore the audience to death....especially when you all have your own full schedules.

What I am mindful of today is that, "There is a time for everything under heaven." Right now is simply a time full of activity for myself and my family. Some day soon I am promised that the time to live simply will come...

So, too, is there a time for fun and recreation. Interesting word- recreation. A time to recreate. One way that I have found to recreate my creativity (is that redundant?) and refresh is to take an adult ballet class. Now, before you fall off your chair as my teenage sons did when they visualized Mom twirling awkardly onto the stage donning a pink tutu....let me explain that we will NOT be performing in any recital! In the class we are learning ballet basics along with some Pilates exercises and stretching. I simply love it. And though I cannot turn (twist) out my legs like the 15 year-experienced teacher I at times do feel graceful. Though as we were leaping with our sashes (sp? how do you put an accent over a syllable with the keyboard?) I felt very much like a human frog. Nonetheless I was rejuvenated when class completed.

What are you doing for recreation?

Little by Little

"Line upon line, precept upon precept, hear a little there a little." I love this scripture...it reminds me that I do not have to have a "Do it all now or nothing!" attitude. It is the small habits, changes consistently done over time, that make the lasting difference.

In "Fit for Life" I am asked every day to commit to do something for that day... mine has been consistently, "I will...drink 6 large glasses of water today." For a moment this morning I thought, "Oh, I should do something different." But the above scripture came to mind. I realized that drinking that water has not become "second nature" in my lifestyle yet, so I need to keep proposing to do it until it is! Then I will move on to tackle something else........

In this same light. I cannot expect drastic change in my body overnight. It takes time and I need to have thoughtful-faithful patience while it is happening.

The Hope of Spring

Good Friday. As I perch on "my chair" in the far corner of the living room, sunlight is streaming in the opposite window aimed at the fish bowl sitting on an end table. (Well , really the fish bowl is a vase but we never got around to buying the plant for our beta fish.) The sunlight does dances and turns in the water and bounces off the glass. How pleasurable to look at.

My two daughters have awoken and are descending the stairs proclaiming, "Mom! There is a rainbow in our room. Come see it!" Sure enough a sunbeam was forcing itself through the side of the window's blind illuminating a rainbow on their pink wall.

You see, it has been a while since the cold, gray skies of winter have allowed the yellow warmth of the sun to shine through the clouds. These expressions of sunlight are truly a delight.

With Easter arriving the third week in March, I began decorating for Spring early this year. While the snow still covered the ground we put out pastel bunnies and replaced the dark colors of house linens with light and sheer ones. Hopeful thinking.

This same time the leaves of the daffodils and tulips are peaking through the thawing ground. I am pleasantly surprised to see snow-drops (a darling little white flower) also popping up all around the lamp post. I thought that I had accidentally dug them all out last year.

Aah, the hope of Spring's arrival. With the Spring Equinox and Easter converging on the same weekend, it is especially poignant to remember new birth, new life. Just when all hope seems to be lost, when it seems the sun will never shine again- it bursts forth.

How much more was that dark season for the followers of Jesus on that predestined day...
"And when the sixth hour had come, there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour. And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, 'Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachtani?'- which means, 'My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?'" (Mark 15:33-34) Jesus' followers did not understand at that time. They experienced darkness, confusion, grief, loss of hope. Until...

On the first day of the week (new beginnings) at the break of dawn (when the sun was just beginning to burst over the horizon)...the women saw that the stone had been rolled away, the tomb was empty, and a angel proclaimed, "He is not here, but is risen!" Hallelujah! I remember with goose bumps the final scene of The Passion of Christ. Without words that portrayal of Jeus, as He stood in the dark grave, the light streaming in echoing His triumph, said it all- the story of the ages...The Son of Man, the Son of God, accomplished what He set out to do before the foundation of the world- He gave His life and rose again in VICTORY. No one and nothing could keep Him in the grave! "And they (the women) remembered His words." (Luke 24:8,7) "That the Son of Man must be given over into the hands of sinful men and be crucified and on the third day rise." Blessed victory! Their darkness was illuminated.

God's timing is perfect, and He continually shows us in the marvels of His creation. He reminds us of His faithfulness even in sunlight streaming in a window, a small rainbow on a wall, flowers breaking forth from once frozen earth, and the change of seasons.

He still proclaims hope of this blessed assurance to us...
"I AM; and you will see the Son of Man seated at the right hand of the Almighty and coming on the clouds of heaven." (Mark 14:62) Even so, come Lord Jesus!

Enjoy your Easter and the hope of Spring!

Fit for LIFE

WELCOME! The "Ladies Of Virtue" Journal is a place where women who share like-minds in Christ can find friendship and encouragement. Please share your sentiments. We look forward o meeting you! Remember to categorize your post.

If you are using the "Fit for LIFE" bible devotional for weight-loss (posted at Ladies OfVirtueOnline.org) this is a safe place to share your successes and struggles. How we need encouragement in losing those extra pounds! How I need that support. Please come visit us weekly (even daily). There is power in group support and prayer. (Matthew 18:19, Ecclesiastes 4:12)

May you (and I) abound in love for Jesus more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, may we approve what is excellent, and be pure and blameless for the day fo Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the praise and glory of God. Have a great day!